A live 90-minute working session with Kettia Ming, author of Run the Mile You're In

Change The Precedent

Build a life that’s true to who you’ve become.

Save MY Seat, $97

Live Tuesday, September 15 at 6:30pm ET. Replay included if life happens that day.

If any of this sounds familiar, you are in the right room.

From the outside, your life works. The career happened. The family happened. You are the one everyone calls, the one who holds it together, the one people describe as strong.

And still. Some mornings you catch yourself staring past your own calendar, wondering when this stopped feeling like your life and started feeling like a role you perform well.

Maybe the house went quiet after the last kid left. Maybe the business sold, or the marriage ended, or a health scare sat you down and asked what exactly you were waiting for. Maybe nothing dramatic happened at all. You simply outgrew the life you built, quietly, and nobody around you can tell.

And underneath all of it, a hundred small agreements you made so long ago they stopped looking like agreements. The dinner on the table at 8pm because it has always been on the table at 8pm. The family phone plan you still manage. The gifts you still buy, the holidays you still host, the seamlessness you still produce because that is what you do.

You have journaled about it. Read about it. Walked miles with it. You can describe the feeling in perfect detail to exactly one friend.

What you have said to no one is this: you already know something has to change. You have known for a while.

The dinner was never the problem. The dinner is the evidence.

Here is what I have learned from my own reinvention, and from hundreds of letters from women in this exact season: the precedent is never really the 8pm dinner, the phone plan, or the holiday hosting. Those are the evidence. The real precedent is who you agreed to be.

Somewhere back there, you set a precedent about your own identity. I am the one who makes it seamless for everyone. And the dinner is one of a hundred ways that agreement shows up in your calendar.

Change the identity, and every precedent downstream of it changes too. Try to change the dinner without touching the identity, and you are back at the stove within a week, resentful and confused about why you cannot stop.

And there is a second thing you should know, because it explains why insight alone has never been enough. The moment you try to change a precedent, the old identity fires back: you are being selfish. You are letting people down. This is just who you are. That guilt is the guard at the door, and it is stronger than any plan you make while it is still standing there.

So hold on to this sentence. People cannot make room for a version of you they have not been introduced to. Changing a precedent takes nothing away from anyone. It introduces them to who you actually are now. That is honesty, and honesty dissolves guilt in a way willpower never will.

This is a working session. Bring a pen.

No hour-long lecture. No slides full of frameworks you will never open again. We do three pieces of real work together, and I do every exercise with you, because I am living this season too.

What have you made normal that you are now exhausted by? Guided prompts, written privately. You will leave this section with your one precedent named. The concrete one, with a time and a place attached.

01

People cannot make room for a version of you they have not been introduced to. So you choose one small, concrete introduction to make within seven days. A conversation, a boundary, a different answer. Then live questions, and the option to say it out loud and be witnessed.

02

Every precedent is loyalty to an identity you agreed to a long time ago. We walk your precedent back to the agreement, keeping it in place, and we look at the guilt that guards it. Directly, together, so it loses the power of being unspoken

03

Save MY Seat, $97

Honesty Note

One thing to know up front, because I would want to know: in the final minutes I will briefly share how we can keep working together in my seven-week cohort, for the women who want more than one step. It is a short and completely optional part of the session.

The workshop stands on its own, and you will leave with your step either way.

What You Leave With

  • Your precedent, named in your own words, on paper. The concrete one you have been living around for years.

  • The identity underneath it, finally visible, and language for the guilt that has been guarding it.

  • One introduction to make this week: a conversation, a boundary, a different answer. Chosen by you, sized for seven days.

  • The experience of saying it out loud in a room where nobody flinches.

  • The replay, yours to keep, plus the workbook of prompts we use together.

What I Will Not Promise

A transformed life in 90 minutes. You have read enough to know better, and so have I. What I can promise is motion. The chapter starts moving the day you stop negotiating with it.

I am not teaching this from hindsight.

I am Kettia Ming. I built a childcare company from my basement into four Manhattan locations over two decades. I was the founder, the fixer, the reliable one. Then I sold it in a multimillion-dollar acquisition, the company that bought it sued me for $1.5 million, my marriage did not survive the fight, and a strategic bankruptcy closed that chapter with my head still up.

What nobody prepared me for was the quiet after. Who was I without the thing I built? Twenty years of building had set precedents about who I agreed to be, and I have spent this chapter changing them, one honest introduction at a time. I wrote about all of it in my memoir, Run the Mile You're In, and strangers started writing me letters saying the same sentence: I thought I was the only one.

I am still in my own next chapter. I am building this work while living it, and I will tell you the truth about both, what I have figured out and what I am still walking through. That is the difference between a guide who remembers the road and one who is on it with you, a few miles ahead.

The Letters That Started This

“I cry about every 25 pages.”

— Anna G.

“Kettia - You gave all Moms and me the greatest Mother’s Day gift by writing this book. Words cannot express how much your words spoke to me and have made me think of a lot of issues that in my mind I always dance around and just push through.”

— Sonia A.

“Thank you Kettia for your vulnerability and for your wisdom. I definitely feel less alone in this quest of finding myself. In your book, I literally found a friend. Someone that I could spend time talking with honesty and vulnerability.”

— Liz C.

Who This is For

This room is for the accomplished woman in a season of transition. Founders and executives. Creatives. Empty nesters. The recently divorced. The quietly restless. Women who have built real things and are ready to build the next chapter with the same intention, starting with one honest step.

It is probably the wrong room if you are looking for a business-plan template, a five-year roadmap, or someone to hand you certainty. I do not have certainty to sell. I have a working method, a lived story, and a room of women who understand.

  • No, and it does not replace it. This is a structured working session about a decision and a step, led by a woman living the same season. Many women in this room have done therapy and found it valuable. This is a different kind of work: forward-facing, practical, and witnessed by peers.

  • Only if you choose to. All the writing is private. Speaking is always by invitation, never by pressure, and cameras can stay off. Some women say one sentence out loud and describe it as the most important 20 seconds of the session. Some just listen. Both are welcome.

  • The books gave you language. This gives the language somewhere to go. Reading is private and this is out loud, with a step attached and a date on it. That is the part the books cannot do, and I say that as a woman with the underlined shelf to prove it.

  • The replay is yours, along with the workbook. Live is better, because the room is half the point. But this season of life comes with caregiving, work, and other people's emergencies, and I built for that reality.

  • The women in this room are mostly 45 to 65. Every one of them has wondered this. Here is what I know from my own life: the chapter is only over when you stop writing. You are not late. You are exactly at the part of the story where it turns.

  • You leave with your introduction to make and the replay. If you want to keep going, I will share how the seven-week cohort works near the end of the session. It runs on Tuesdays, October 6 through November 17, finished before the holidays swallow the calendar. No pressure either way. Some women make their introduction and go. Some want company for the next mile. Both are wins in my book.

  • $97. That includes the live session, the replay, and the workbook. I priced it to be a real decision without being a hard one. This room works because everyone in it chose to be there.

You don’t need to see the finish line.

You don’t need permission, consensus, or everyone to understand.

You need one honest introduction, made in good company. The 8pm dinner was never the problem. Change the precedent underneath it, and watch how much of your life changes with it.

Run the mile you’re in. This is the next mile.

Save MY Seat, $97

Live Tuesday, September 15 at 6:30pm ET. Replay included if life happens that day.